Rant

This happens to be the most frequent question I get asked. It's a very good and valid question,but I do tire of being asked this. Why am I single you ask?

One reason is mainly because I choose to be. By choice I am single. Every-time I try to give my all to a girl,they either want nothing or expect more then I can give. Now,I know I'm not the best person out there,but dammit I expect you to appreciate what I do for you. I know that what I look for and what I get in a person, are so far apart that they would be considered long distance cousins.

I need and want an intelligent,funny,and caring person in my life. It's what I crave. I always end up with a semi-educated,ignorant,and selfish person. At first they appear to be what I so desperately crave,but they show their true colors about 2 months in and by then I'm a bit too selfish.

I hope that they will change,knowing deep down they won't but I always give them the benefit of the doubt. By the 4-5 month I'm worn down and don't know what I should do. 6-7 months I hate the relationship,why do I let things get like this? Purely on selfish desire...maybe,and I don't mean in a sexual way. By the time I break it off,or they do I want nothing to do with any one for a while. It happens every single time.

This is my rant if you will and I stick by what I say.

Does this happen to you? What do you do and how do you end up handling it?

Coming into myself

As mentioned in the title,I have noticed more and more with myself that not only am I growing more mature,but more into a person I love. I am more comfortable with who I am as a person. My style is slowly becoming my own and I can only say I absolutely adore this feeling. Music is better everyday,words start blending together and forming ones I may not have used in the past. I learn more and more about myself each day and I hope it never stops. I'm not completely sure how to describe this feeling of self serenity(?) Sure I have my moments and I'm completely bitchy but what teenager isn't?

Allow me to share a few of my memorable experiences with you. These past few weeks have been crazy to say the least. Memorable,but crazy. I have enjoyed my time,recently I was able to go with one of my best friends to go see the movie The Runaways. I loved it! I mean I am a fan of their music but I guess this movie just solidified it. I can not wait until it comes out!

Next,we have The birth of my niece,she is a blessing to the family. I was able to spend a weekend with my older sister,brother-in-law and of course my little niece. It was by far one of the best experiences for me. She is such a cute baby!

Another issue at hand is my ex -___- but this will be a post for next time,only because there is so much I have to put into it to try and convey to you all how I really feel about this gargantuan issue.

For now I would like to thank you for wasting what I am sure is your very valuable time to stop by and check my blog.

Blah!

Well I must say I was going through my older posts on here and you know what I discovered? Amazingly I have improved,not by much but it's the little bit I was aiming for. Hopefully my future posts will be better. Goal=Write blog post efficiently and coherently.

In other news (aha I crack myself up) Again I'm on summer vacation. It's official Im a Junior!! Yay! The summer has been treating me kindly so far. I absolutely love it. For one I finally took my permit exam and passed. This means I'm one step closer to driving Roy(my car). Which brings me to the point I was getting to. For some odd reason I name my things that have any value that I appreciate to them. My psp,cellphone,teddy bear,ipod,laptop and now my car all have names. Are you ready? My car's whole name is Roy G Biv,I like it though I find it endearing. *sidenote* For those who don't understand/get why my car's name is roy g biv,think of the color spectrum....still don't get it? Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Indigo and Violet.

Lastly I present you with a side profile view of roy:

Random?

Ok so today I post for the first time in a few days. I have two little stories I want to share :D.

Well today I was helping my dad do a crossword puzzle and one of the little thingy's said "topic for freud(sp?)" I'm thinking and all of a sudden I shout "This one's sex!!"uhm..awkward much? lol

Second little story is I was having a conversation with two of my best friends and another friend. We're all in a semi circle and my bestie,I'll call her X looks at me and says, "What the f*#@,it's been six months,"and at this point she looks directly at me "Let's have sex right now,you can be on top." In all honesty I have never been asked this with so many people around. My 'witty' comeback was something to this affect, "Uhm,buh-...you...is that a good thing?"

X- "Yes,being on top is good"

Needless to say I was completely flabbergasted and she was completely serious hahaha

Update

So I already took my two ap exams,and I know for certain that I totally bombed my bio one. long story short for the essay segment I wrote stories lol. Talk about failure.
In other words, school's going better I'm not failing my classes anymore and I'm being a little more responsible. Still listening to Drake haha. Can't wait to get his album hopefully to be released later this year.

I'm newly-ish single and I'm loving it,no disrespect to my late counter part.
Things weren't working out between us so I split. It was the best thing I couldv'e done. There's someone new I'm interested in,but alas their involved with someone :[ but I can wait :D


Injury report: lol
I hurt my ankle the other day and it feels like I may have sprained it :[
It still hurts but I'll live

My thoughts really......

hmm,...remember in one of my earlier posts I said i wasn't ready for a relationship? well I was right. The sad thing is when i got into the relationship I'm in now I was told by my other that they still loved their ex,like in love. Usually when someone learns this do they back out? well I didn't. As a few weeks passed my other started telling me they loved me and how they were scared cause they were falling in love with me. I of course didn't believe them and I was smart in doing so because now they have how they love their ex all over,and I know i was a fool to even hope they loved me like that,that's why I'm grateful I am not in love with them,do i love them yes but not in love sadly as they wished I was. I guess you could say that this was a mistake on my part,but you live and learn and learning I am.

Genius? or Plain Picky?

So I just want to get this off my chest I guess :D

Ok my room is a mess, it looks like a bomb of clothes,papers, gum wrappers,little bitty pieces of paper and anything else you can imagine.

However with school work and basically my work area to do homework is always neat.

Hmmm.....anyone else see the problem here??

But I do believe this is the true form of a genius...yes me :D but not in the mathematical sense.

I do believe I am Officially....

Not ready for a relationship with anybody. I already have problems of my own to deal with how the hell am I supposed to help someone else with theirs? I don't think I'm cut out for all this but alas I shall try my best, I really don't mean to push anyone away, I just need to figure things out by myself for me before I let anyone else know what's up....right? Have I ever told you about the most amazing woman in my life? no? .... well this amazing woman would be my mother. she always makes me feel good about myself,she makes me laugh and she is supportive of me. I guess I'm done for now. :]

school

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g254/iceage627/Picture006-1.jpg
newest work haha

anyway. school is good just very stressful. i honestly feel like kicking someone in the throat. =D

whoooo havin fun

its a good weekend had a good first week of school even thought it was interrupted by hurricane fay it was still fun. it got to see all my friends and make a few new ones. all in all its good. this weekend im not really doing much just some school work aka projects,and homework. as for hurricane fay since florida has seen some tough ones(hurricanes) this one sucked.....very much all that happened was some rain....ALOT of rain

the beach

fort DE Soto sucks anus lol no but i like daytona better an the others ones better.
im sunburnt like i motherlubin loster. no seriously i am but i did tan and have fun =D

my thoughts

touchy subject yes. do i care ....no.

if you know me well you know that i am probably one of the few people who do not think that lil wayne is the greatest rapper alive.

do not get me wrong i like his flow,but nowadays it sucks. i like the old lil wayne tracks not the crap he is putting out today.

who do i think is the greatest rapper? well to be hinest i think there is more than one because there are so many who are better,but do not get recognized because their hype level is not on like lil wayne's hype.

so to start off i like immortal technique (underground rapper) his flow is ill.

lupe fiasco he is probably to me the best in mainstream right now because he raps differently then everyone else.

so roughly what im trying to say but nicely is stop being on lil waynes jock and listen to real hip hop if you are a real hip hop head.

from yours truly

sasha

duece

insecurity at its best eh cause there is no S on this chest

have you ever felt like your friends abandon you? well i felt like this a while ago because i came to realize i barely talk to my friends now that's its summer. i really do try to stay in touch with them but shouldn't it go both ways? if they consider me as close a friend as they say i am shouldn't they also be trying to stay in contact with me? I'm not saying drop what your doing and call me or our friendship is over im just saying i miss all my friends dearly and i miss being in their company.i feel alittle better now not completely cause i do miss them but this helped.